Herodotus’s apocrypha include a hallucinatory tale of what seems to be the great plains. He heard tell, from a traveler who had been there, of a land that was populated mostly by bulls and cows. Where the bovine domination stopped, the human settlements began. The tribes of the plains, according to the traveler, were a pale and weak people. Eating and praying at dawn, they would retreat to bed for the daylight hours and emerge at sunset to light their fires. They drank only from standing–never flowing–water, and were frequently very ill because of this. The men would clamber up the backs of their enormous women and direct them in a ritual dance by pulling on their pigtails to steer them this way and that. The women engaged in a game called ‘moon chase’ where they walked at night until their legs gave out, and where they collapsed was where they were destined to settle once married. The traveler said he had traded a single potsherd for 10,000 furs, which had been carried over land and portaged over rivers to the long shore by the intrepid and gigantic women of the plains. He said they did not know how to return home, so they played moon chase and settled themselves all over the east coast. It turns out they were the first supermodels.