Radio Spot for the League of Former College Radio DJs Turned Musical Fundmentalists
Voice One: Do you find yourself crying when someone mentions a new genre to you? Do you even know what rockism is anymore? Can you even locate the hole on a brand new limited edition wooden 7″?
Voice Two: Did you ever even like the things you professed to like? Or did you like them for the wrong reasons? (whispers) YOU DID. You wanted to throw out the canon, but it never crossed your mind that the canon might want to throw you out. And now that it has, where does that leave you? What can you do?
Voice One: Take it back to the ‘beginning.’ Appreciate Sabbath. Appreciate Hall & Oates so hard that people are scared of your sincerity. Appreciate chant. Appreciate older, unrecorded Fleetwood Mac. Appreciate only things that feel as real as possible. Tell everyone, “I’m starting to like things that I always should have liked. That other stuff I liked? Ha. I never really liked it. That was a trick.” You claim Peter Gabriel as your guardian angel. Music now stopped existing for you past 2004.
Voice Two: You have a place with us, the League of Former College Radio DJs Turned Musical Fundamentalists. Come in from the cold. Bring tapes of your old shows. Bring your old playlists. We’ll add them to the bonfire.