Raime - If Anywhere was here he would know where we areMissing CatDandy, our brown tabby, born to Lady Transistor, a short-haired black cat, has been missing since last Monday, when he was allowed to escape through the garage door. This never would have happened if certain events had not transpired--we are not negligent pet owners, you can ask the Yocums who live down the street. Dandy must have come downstairs, banished from his usual perch on the bedroom windowsill because of activities on the bed which were probably a little too salacious for his feline sensibilities, activities which involved my husband, Mr. Fitch, and the woman who works at the Soap ‘n Suds, the bar-cum-laundromat, who is not his lawfully wedded wife, did not bear four of his children without the aid of epidurals, and certainly has never had to administer suppositories to aforementioned husband when he has eaten too much cheese at the block party and hit on the teenage daughter of the down-the-street neighbors. No, oh no. Dandy fled our house because of his total moral uprightness, and reluctance to be a party to life-destroying betrayal. Our precious cat may be a little bit disoriented by some of the changes that have taken place in our tiny corner of the world--maybe his ‘mommy’ has gotten blond highlights and taken to spending someone’s ‘hard-earned’ money on fur coats and waffle makers. And maybe, just maybe, Dandy will find his ‘daddy’ sleeping in a tent in the backyard with all his clothes huddled around him, counting out his bus passes to the tune of bent-up Haircut 100 records. Please help us find our beloved and precious pet.Thank you, and God bless,Laura Fitch[Buy If Anywhere was here he would know where we are EP]