Che Cardinality

Sodastream - Wedding Day


In early 2001, I heard this song for the first time and tried to use it as a weapon. I knew a girl, like we all do, who was getting married soon--that spring I think. She was affianced to a man who was majestically wrong for her. He was silent, brooding, serious, unmusical. She was funny, voluble, intense, and songworthy. I heard this song by chance over the speakers at a student-run coffeeshop, which usually only played a mix of Love and Amon Duul albums. I tracked down the band, Sodastream. I began a friendly email correspondence with the group, and invited them to America, to come play at the small auditorium nearby. Incredibly, they agreed. Two months later, I picked up the band and their equipment at the local airport and escorted them around town. Soundcheck went perfectly. I told the band that my PR firm had taken care of everything, advertising the show online, over the radio, and in the newspapers. Street teams were everywhere, I said, wearing their arms out with poster-pasting. In actuality, no such PR firm existed. I had invited only the girl to the concert, and I was going to propose to her there, in the auditorium, while the band played, in order to steal her away from the quiet robot she was about to marry. She never showed. The band sued me, right then and there (the drummer is a lawyer). I blacked out and woke up in jail seven months later. It's still a good song.

[Buy Looks Like A Russian]

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